Magis Catholic

Trust issues come from our need for safety.

People say that no one gets through this life unscarred. We tend to work for our own self-interest, which often conflicts with the needs of our partners, families, and friends. We feel the need to develop a thicker skin in order to accomplish our goals and get what we want. We know how to steel ourselves against rejection, failure, and disappointment by learning to expect and prepare for the worst possible outcomes. We operate with a lack of trust for one another, always needing confirmation through hard evidence before we make any decisions. This is our true normal, and we have grown so used to functioning with our trust issues that we don’t notice how much our lives could be richer and fuller if we just learned to trust each other more.

What’s holding us back? I believe that it’s mainly a fear of old pain and a desire to feel safe and dodge suffering. We do not want to repeat the horrors of the past, and with this comes the urge to protect our broken pieces from shattering again. I say this because past traumatic experiences have resulted not only to my unwillingness to trust, but also to an unconscious fear of vulnerability and a tendency to push people away. I have built a wall around my heart to protect myself from disappointment.

I have conditioned myself to be self-sustaining, which has evolved into an extreme form of independence rooted in the idea that if I’m solely responsible for the things that I will do, then I can only blame myself if I choose wrongly. If I can control how to deal with the issues as they arise, then I can work on fixing my mistakes whenever I would make some. In this bubble, I am alone. It is both a terrible and a comforting thing. I felt safe in this hiding spot, and I thought that no one can hurt me in here. These walls not only forced people out of my life, but it also caged me in. I became a prisoner by my own design.

Trust is freely given by God.

In his homily from this morning’s Holy Mass, Fr. Malicdem said that for God, trust is grace. Jesus doesn’t wait for us to be trustworthy, He simply trusts us because He loves us. Contrary to how the world tells us that trust is supposed to be something that you earn (just like how love follows only after a person meets a certain criteria), the Lord trusts us freely out of His love for us. God assumes – and therefore – brings out the best in us, as we respond to His trust by trying to be worthy of it.

Furthermore, God calls us to trust His people. Fr. Malicdem explained that when we trust each other, we experience the resurrection of Christ as we place our hope and faith in one another. There is joy in this message. I would like to believe that we can learn to trust again. We begin by looking at the love of Christ.

Jesus loves imperfect people.

God does not have a hardened heart. He desires to be close to us, and He is out to encounter the real, vulnerable, and imperfect people whom He loves. He is filled with joy when we return to Him. He is the merciful father who runs to embrace the prodigal son.

Jesus Christ, the sinless one who can throw the first stone, refused to condemn the sinner. He didn’t judge people based on their sin. His love does not only see us in our best state, but He sees us in the worst possible light and perseveres anyway. He pursues us anyway. From the cross, Jesus always looks at us with compassion because He knows that we need God’s saving grace. To know that even when we fall, His love never fails. That it’s okay to be broken and incomplete because He will accomplish whatever is lacking in us.

As we learn to trust God more, Jesus also asks us to extend the same trust to others. He wants us to have faith and to expect the best in people because we love them. We should not fear being vulnerable. We should not fear the possibility of getting hurt. And yes, it might be difficult at times, but we take comfort in the knowledge that Jesus goes before us. Whatever the Lord asks of us, He has already done.

A trusting heart is a gentle one.

Jesus’ heart is meek, humble, and gentle because it rests in the Father. A trusting heart is full of peace because it stays connected to the presence of God in each moment. If we cultivate trust in our hearts, we can walk lightly in this world with a gentle spirit and a kind manner. Christ tells us not to be afraid, but instead to trust in His love that is true, lasting, and without conditions. In this way, we can truly rest from fear, anxiety, pain, heartbreak, and disappointment. We can rest knowing that God is our refuge, our strength, and our portion. We do not live in fear of anything because no matter what happens, Christ is enough. God alone satisfies.

Let nothing trouble you

Let nothing frighten you

Everything passes

God never changes

Patience

Obtains all

Whoever has God

Wants for nothing

God alone is enough.

– St. Teresa of Avila & St. John of the Cross