Magis Catholic

All too often in life we become distracted by the immediate, tangible tasks of everyday. We speed through our moments such that we can’t even tell what day it is. We live for the weekend and yet it passes us by in an instant. And then we dread waking up to another Monday morning just to go through the exact same thing over again. The blur permeates our waking days and extends through weeks, months, and even years. Unknowingly, we fall into a cycle of routine which will continue if we let it go unquestioned. The familiarity of it breeds comfort, and we settle into that comfort nicely. Never stopping to check if we’re still heading to the right direction. Repressing the curiosity to explore and dismissing the hard questions. Ignoring the problems and postponing them for another day. And we wonder why we feel lost, exhausted, and stuck.

Be Present To Press Pause

In 2018, I participated in my first silent retreat. At the beginning, it was the most uncomfortable experience. I was used to the incessant work messages, social media notifications, and endless stream of content in my phone. By not having my phone by my side, I felt like I lost a limb. In a guided silent retreat, participants are not allowed to look and speak to each other. It was 4-day retreat, and everyone is expected to stay in silence. The schedule involved a lot of time for spiritual talks and meditations, time for quiet prayer (alone or with a group), and free time which you are free to spend reading, journaling, or walking around the retreat house. It was challenging to say the least. The first 2 days were especially hard because my mind was everywhere. I was distracted in prayer. I was fidgety, waiting for a notification or a text that will not come.

But now, if I could go on a silent retreat at least once a week I would. Because I learned in that encounter that the very act of clearing away all the distractions also means leaving space for what’s essential. When you give yourself permission to be present, you’ll be able to experience a distinct fullness of life: fully occupying your mind, your body, and the space where you are, paying attention to the present moment as it unfolds. This form of mental cleansing is painful at first because you will experience some type of withdrawal from not having the usual stimulation and the dopamine high from your phone or laptop. But by practising presence, sooner or later you’ll realize how mentally and emotionally absent you can be everyday. When your mind (ergo, your sense of clarity and purpose) is always floating away in a pool of noise, your attention will always be divided, and your participation in life always partial and incomplete. So whenever I feel overwhelmed and unable to focus, I consciously pull myself back to the present moment by breathing deeply and taking in my current environment. Psychologists call this grounding, particularly helpful for those experiencing anxiety.

Pressing pause can be terrifying, especially for a lot of people whose work became their main source of distraction. But in light of God, knowing who He is and what He’s done, He empowers us to put work in its proper place in our lives. Yes, we work to afford a living, but we do not live just to work. There is more to life that we can enjoy. For others, relationships have become their main source of fulfilment and satisfaction, which is also why it is their primary source of worry and frustration. Losing the relationship would mean losing a major part of their identity, and so that comes with its own set of fears and anxieties. We tend to forget that people change and can make mistakes such that we look to our partners to provide for all our emotional needs and in turn, neglecting our relationship with God, which is the most important and central to all other relationships because it is what renews and sustains us so that we can love others better.

The process of pressing pause, being present, and clearing away distractions doesn’t mean discounting the value of our work, relationships, and personal aspirations. It does mean a certain level of detachment, which allows us enough breathing space to be able to tell what’s valuable, what’s truly important to us within those spheres. It means spending some quiet time alone, away from the hustle & bustle of our jobs and the pressure from other people’s expectations, in order to seek the wisdom to see things as they truly are. This wisdom, God gives freely to those who ask Him for it.

Be Present To Experience God’s Presence

Being alone in itself is a challenge for a lot of people (myself included) because it often means being alone in my head. The concept of silent prayer tells us that this should not be a cause for fear. Because when we are alone, that is the perfect time to call on God who comes close to those who seek Him. It is in silence of our minds and hearts that we’re able to hear God’s small, still voice. In the Bible, God tells us:

You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart. – Jeremiah 29:13

In the beginning of a retreat, participants are often asked to state the key intention that they want to offer to God as they go through the retreat; an objective to narrow their focus in prayer and reflection. In my experience, God would sometimes give a direct answer to my prayer but more often than not, He will give His example through the life of His Son, Jesus Christ. I can’t count how many times in silent prayer when the Holy Spirit would guide me to a particular story in the Gospel, teaching me what I need to know. While I recommend for everyone to come join a retreat (get away for 1-3 days in a retreat house and listen to guided prayer and meditation), it is not possible for many because of their busy lifestyles and commitments. I’m a firm believer that God meets us where we are, and so here are some tips I have for those who want to press pause and experience the presence of God everyday:

• Carve out quiet time to be alone with God. Dedicate around 15-30 minutes to pray in front of your altar, or if that’s not possible, just sit down with an open journal to write. Specify the exact time and place where you plan to do it, and stick to your plan. James Clear calls this ‘implementation intention’, which helps build new habits because you have already reserved that time for that specific activity. When we give time for God, He comes to those who seek Him earnestly.

• St. Teresa of Avila writes of the soul as an interior castle, with many rooms that we explore with God. So when I pray, I try to open my heart to God in prayer. This means laying it all out in the table: all my fears, joys, secrets, anxieties, desires, and especially my sins. Yes, this is a difficult process, but it is worth it. God always knocks on our hearts, but it is always up to us if we let Him do His good work. He can only do that, if we open the door to our hearts. Remember the image of God as our merciful Healer: He will heal our sicknesses and infirmities if we reveal those to Him. When I’m dealing with something difficult or a problem to which I have not found a solution yet, I invite God into it by opening up about it and including Him in the conversation. Being able to name and acknowledge my emotions to God, both the positive and the negative, about matters that are important to me is the most vulnerable yet powerful feeling in the world. What follows is the peace that the world cannot give: the peace that only God can provide.

• After that, I stop talking. It is time to listen to the still, small voice. In the silence of prayer, I let God lead me: either He will give me a grace, an inspiration, an idea on what to do next, or if it’s out of my control, He gives me peace that He will fight that battle for me. Sometimes, in prayer, we often think that we are distracted when some thought bubbles appear. I think that there is merit to check again, and ask yourself: What are the recurring patterns in my prayer? Are there any issues that keep on resurfacing? Any experiences that come back out of the blue? We have to look deeper into these, because what if God is trying to tell you something through these images? When we identify these patterns and present these to God, it is likely that there are lessons there that will help inform our present and help us face our past with acceptance and courage. But how can we tell what is the voice of God that’s leading us? We differentiate the voice of God from the noise of the world by spending some time in silence to quiet the heart and listen to the voice that brings you inspiration, hope in the new things. The good things. The voice that gives you hope. 

• When I’m deeply troubled or anxious for the future, I invoke God’s presence, providence, and dominion over my life. In our quiet time, depending on our state of life, It is helpful to think of the different images that reflect some aspect of God’s nature as the –  
  1. Lord, our King, who reigns over the universe 
  2. Creator, who renews creation and provides for His plans
  3. Good Shepherd, who knows us by name, leads us to still waters to refresh our souls, with whose presence there is nothing I shall want
  4. Crucified Christ who redeems us and frees us from our sins so we can live freely and in abundance of God’s grace
  5. Comforter, who draws close to the brokenhearted, renews their hope
  6. Rock, our unshakeable foundation, solid ground, constant, same yesterday, tomorrow, and today
  7. Shield and Stronghold, who protects us from harm and rescues us from evil
  8. Healer, who is merciful, compassionate, who understands our brokenness and infirmities
  9. Teacher, who will give us wisdom, give light to our path
  10. Father, who embraces His prodigal son and throws Him a grand celebration upon his return

• When feeling down and rejected, take a moment to remember that God loves you NOW. His love is faithful and unchanging. There is nothing can separate us from the love of God. He will part the seas to rescue you from your enemies. He gave His only Son to die on the cross to buy your freedom, redeem you from your sins, and give you a new life. He will provide everything you need. God goes with you. 

• Whatever you are doing (walking, washing dishes, grocery shopping), try to notice the present moment and relish in it. Some of my moments of greatest clarity found me when I emptied my mind and focused my attention to the space or activity I’m occupying at the time. There is beauty in the everyday, ordinary life. God is near. 

• Finally, we also see glimpses of the face of God through the affirming words and the generous deeds of other people. Be it family, friends, workmates, random people we meet on the street. There is goodness in everyone. As we practice being present, try to recognize God’s presence in other people. In this way, we appreciate them more and begin to see them better. It is easier to express appreciation and gratitude towards others when we know that God dwells in them to be instruments of His love in our lives. The trick is to be able to notice the good qualities of others.

All of these can be done everyday, but we have to be intentional about being present. Our attention is what dictates our perception, which can either limit or widen the quality of our life. When we are fully present, we can do amazing things because it is in the present that we have the freedom and power to act. And when we take the time to press pause and be alone with God, He makes everything clear and He transforms our perspective about our lives so we don’t run in darkness. We walk in the light.