Magis Catholic

Anxiety is my emotional default mode. I try to plot out uncertain futures with a handful of learning experiences and a few theories under my belt to predict how my choices will lead to certain outcomes. 

Fear, on the other hand, is the more insidious default brain setting. In hindsight, I can’t count how many times I acted in an illogical manner, only to realize that I was acting out of fear: A fear of losing. A fear of failing. A fear of lacking control. Fear paints my current situation as a fragile thing: If you’re like me, it’s a lot like standing on shaky ground that feels like it’s going to fall apart anytime. 

It is the peace that transcends understanding, a freedom from fear and anxiety. St. Paul reminds us to – 

“Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.” – Philippians 4:4-9

In this verse, the antidote to fear and anxiety is summed up in three points: openness in prayer, focused thought, and deliberate practice. All of which lead to an experience of God’s peace, found through acknowledging and submitting oneself to the presence of God. 

What is the presence of God? Better yet, who is the presence of God? 

The Bible tell us that the presence of God is His Holy Spirit. When Jesus was preparing for His ascension, He promised that the Father will send His Advocate to be with us in every moment of everyday.

“If you love me, keep my commands. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever – the Spirit of truth…But you will know him, for he lives with you and will be in you. I will not leave you as orphans, I will come to you.” – John 14: 15:31

It is the Holy Spirit – our Teacher – who remains in us, intercedes for us, and gives us the grace of peace. The gifts of the Holy Spirit include wisdom, understanding, counsel, fortitude, knowledge, piety, and fear of the Lord. Thinking about these gifts of the Spirit brings a lot of consolation, because we know that God indeed blesses us with every spiritual blessing we need. 

In the Bible, the Holy Spirit is also symbolized by (1) fire that ignites the spirit, energizes our inner life, and sets the heart aflame with love for Christ; (2) the wind that embraces and brings relationships & communities together; as well as (3) through languages, the tongues of fire that speaks directly to the heart and tears down barriers between souls. The Holy Spirit is the face of God who shines brightly in our lives, lighting our path: 

“But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” – John 14:26-27

The Still, Small Voice

As we are all unique, I truly believe that the Holy Spirit communicates to each of us in the most intimate and personal way. But in order to discover that specific manner in which God talks to us, we need to spend some quiet and alone time with God in order for our hearts to be open and receptive to what God has to say. Because He will proclaim the truth. He will speak the most difficult truths for our benefit. He will bring to light all that we try to keep hidden.

In my experiences during the silent retreats that I’ve done in the past 2 years, I realised that the Holy Spirit communicates to me in two distinct ways: (1) visually, by showing me some scenes in the Bible that is relevant to my situation so as to illustrate a lesson I need to learn and (2) also through what I call a “thought bubble”, which can be described as a sudden burst of clarity, a quiet moment of epiphany, a nugget of profound wisdom, and an enduring message of hope that brings me an unexplainable sense of peace that renews me every time I remember it. 

Some messages I’ve received in the past are as follows. These are very personal to me, but I’m sharing these to show you that God will communicate to you when you search for Him. Draw close to God, invoke His presence and dominion over your life, and He will draw nearer to you.  We may not understand it fully, but He is always reaching out to us through the events and struggles of everyday. 

• When I was feeling down and anxious, He told me: All things are passing. Try to be happy where I have placed you because you won’t be in the same place forever. You will never pass this way again. 
• When I was telling God to teach me how to love, He told me: Love your Mama and your Papa, affirm and support them as I do with you.
• When I was struggling with a break-up, He told me: The doors I’ve closed, I’ve closed these for your own good. I’ll take care of you, don’t be afraid. I’ll open new doors for you.
• When I was finding it hard to surrender, He told Me: If you love Me, then trust Me. Obey my commandments. Seek first my kingdom, and all these things shall be added unto you.
• When I was offering up my anger and telling God that it’s impossible for me to forgive, He told me: Forgiveness is never about you and them. It’s between you and Me. What I demand / ask of you, I have already done to give you an example. Look at My Son on the cross. The blood of Christ is enough. 

How do I know that these messages are from God? It is a little hard to explain, I admit, but these messages certainly could not come from me. I am not wise. Most of the time, I’m not sure if I’m doing the right thing. I am always anxious and afraid. I can be overly emotional too. But God has a way of breaking my walls down into the smallest of pieces, touching my heart, and speaking the painful and often shocking truth that sets me free and points me to the right direction. As I read the Bible and encounter more of His Word through the Holy Mass, the messages I’ve received so far have been consistent with what He’s done and how He revealed His character. So now the ball’s in my court: I have to trust God to lead the way.

Anxious & Afraid? Invoke the Presence of God

To conquer fear & anxiety, my pro tip is to turn to God. Whether it be through directly conversing with Him in prayer, focusing your thoughts on His word, or constantly improving in practicing good habits. When in doubt, remember that He is the Creator who reigns over everything. He is the Father who knows you totally – flaws and all – loves you so much that He sent His Son and His Holy Spirit to bring down the walls of sin and bring you close to His divine heart. 

The true marvel in this is that in the midst of all our daily effort and search for meaning, we find a loving God who is abundantly blessing us with His presence everyday. The gift of our faith is God Himself. His presence is our only source of lasting peace because He is the fulfilment of our  desires. If only we learn to stop and listen to His still, small voice. If only we can pay attention, God will show Himself. And believe me, He will surprise you.